I'm only going to take a short time to write a blip of apology. I am here in Portland now, and despite the best of intentions, time flies by and the days are long, and I have very little motivation to post. Good day or bad day. I will try to keep up on some of our team outings and stats over the summer. And when I have a really good story to tell I will. Else wise I am sorry, it will be limited to facebook statuses for a while. I will always link when I do write something significant so you'll still be aware of it. :) I love you all. I appreciate all the love and support. I will even post my address if anyone is interested in sending... goodies. Words of kindness and support are always welcome and treats of a delicious nature are especially comforting!!

14956 Scholls Ferry Road J301
Beaverton Oregon 97007

:D

Raw!

I am not a dieter, I am not very well versed in self discipline, and I never have a hard time changing my mind. I just moved home. I got sick. And my kidney has been hurting for about a week now. I was just browsing the internet looking for a good detox plan, and I came across a great blog. www.stevepavlina.com. He is a personal developement coach, and does all sorts of 30 day challenges. Recently he did his 5th raw diet. It was his hardest, and after the fact most rewarding. I've heard lots of things about going raw. The most extreme being people who've cured their cancer. I just want to restart my body. Get back to the good health we are supposed to be born with, purge the needs/cravings that have been developed by our food obsessed society. I'm also thinkin I will be disspelling for myself some myths of the food pyramid, protein myths, and more.
I started yesterday September 1, 2010. And I am going through the end of the month. I'm also starting Yoga twice a week. I'm excited to reset my health, let go of my junk tendencies, and prove I can do something I don't normally think I would. Wish me luck, send any questions or details you want me to post and we'll evaluate later! :D

Home :D

"I've decided something, home is the nicest word there is." -Little House on the Prairie. Coming home is always a delicious emotional blanket of goodness. So many different moments on my way home I was just overwhelmed with comfort. Driving in to St. George and seeing one of our many beautiful temples set up against the burning red rock was spectacular. I stopped at a Mcdonalds for a potty, and breakfast, and it smelled so clean and fresh outside. I have a whole new appreciation for the clean air act. I was chasing dark clouds all the way. Mysteriously, teasingly, threatening bundles of moisture. And when I was getting all dark and lonely and miserable inside, I started driving past fields of sunflowers. Funny how it's the little things that mean so much when we need that little boost. Utah is a tranquil, safe place. Sure it has it's flaws in all it's unique ways. For me, even just our majestic and reassuring mountains are enough to thank our Heavenly Father for this beautiful planet we are blessed to live on. I don't know where I'm off to next, but for now I'm soaking up this place I like to call home!!!

Knock Knock!!!!

Knock Knock!!
Greetings from Bakersfield California! I sure seem to get around. In the last year, I’ve lived on the far east coast and the far west coast. I’ve been a recluse and now I talk to a couple hundred people a day… if I’m lucky!
Selling Pest Control is the most challenging, unrewarding, miserable, exhausting, discouraging, and trying job (if you can put it in one word) that I’ve ever and I’m sure will ever do. I knock upwards 200-300 doors a day, I talk to about 40% of those doors, and I sell 0-2 accounts per day. I have had one day of 4, and one day of 5. We sell 6 days a week, 5-7 hours a day, and walk in triple digit temperatures. This is not a fun job. All this being said, I truly believe it’s one of the best choices I’ve ever made (And if I keep telling myself that, I might start to believe it)!
We don’t often get to see the far reaching effects of a simple choice. The consequences, good and bad, are not always apparent. I think that’s what we call acting on faith. In August 2008 I got a job at IHOP, I was a hostess/expo “artist”, the pay was minimum, and the hours were Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays. I wasn’t appreciated and I was missing church. In October, I applied at a new ice cream store in the mall on a whim, and didn’t really think much of it. In November, I decided I wanted to be able to attend church with my family again, and I started looking for a new job. Within days I was called in for an interview and hired at Sub Zero. I can’t even count all the blessings I’ve received from knowing and working for Royal. It was there I met Shiloh Logan. We worked together just a few times over the last year and a half or so. I took a nanny job and moved across the country, grew as an individual, spent lots of wonderful time with the Bybee-Holdaways, and decided to move home in December. In March, I was invited to California as part of the sales team for Oxley’s Pest Control.
Preparing to come out here, I started e-mailing one of my soon to be roommates, Vanessa Johnson. We became friends on facebook, and it was shortly after that she e-mailed me and asked if my mom served a mission to Mexico, and if she’d had the nickname ‘point-dexter’. It was bizarre but I asked, and it was true. Turns out her mother is Nancy Santa-Anna, who met mom in the MTC, became fast friends, and were eventually bridesmaids at one another’s weddings! CRAZY! We’ve also become close friends, and I had the fortune of spending the 4th of July weekend in L.A. meeting her mom, grandma, and brother. I had a wonderful time, ate some home-cooked Cuban food, drove down PCH to Laguna Beach, watched fireworks and more!
The people I have the pleasure of living and working with are mostly what make this summer not only bearable, but worth it! Shiloh is in his last year at BYU this fall. He is majoring in Philosophy and is a strong advocate for righteous government, and true principles of freedom. Listening to him, I only wish I were a sponge or had far superior memory to absorb more. His wife Rachel is one of my heroes! She is now 5 days past due on their fourth child, the oldest being 4 years old. She is an incredible wife and mother. Having heard some of her testimony of faith and trust in the Lord has strengthened my own. I love their kids and swim with them often. I can’t wait to meet the new baby, when she decides to meet the world!
Dave Oxley is a remarkable human being! He is truly watching out for us as his sales team. He has made a huge investment in us, and I hope I can return the kindness with increased accounts. He keeps our spirits up, treating us to dinner when we meet our weekly quotas, and barbequing at his home. He prays often with us, asking for protection and blessings on our behalf, and thanking the Lord for our successes. What a wonderful example of faith outside our church!
I’m not exaggerating when I say I couldn’t make it without my roommates! Vanessa and Marissa are a constant support team! We live the same schedule, work the same hours, feel all the same pressures and stresses, and joy when we each succeed. I think I wouldn’t have made it this long without them. Being younger by a couple years hasn’t made much difference. It’s noticeable when I don’t know the same music, and am naïve to references that were just a few years before my time. They are so patient with me, have taught me so much about loving everyone, reserving judgments, and being a better person. I’m indebted to them for that!
Some lessons I’ve learned: Mexicans and African Americans are the nicest ethnicities. You can tell ethnicity based on the landscaping and laundry smell of homes. People love their pets more than their kids. I will never ever own a Chihuahua!!!!! When I do own a dog, it will be BIG and I will train that dog so well! I will be kind to solicitors regardless of their product and I will not have a steeped yard. I will most certainly choose living in a lower class area and teach my children to be kind and welcoming, over living in the upper class and not teaching my children kindness. 5 hour energy drinks are inspired by God! I’ve learned to open my mind, and not care who belongs to what religion. I understand now that we are all God’s children, and that’s all.
I’m sitting here trying to sum everything up, and there is just too much! I’m planning a trip to Disneyland next weekend for Vanessa’s birthday, a trip to San Diego to meet the sales team that her brother is working for,(coincidently one of the owner’s of that company is Royal’s older brother) and then return to start school in the fall. I plan to take Spanish with Peter at UVU, and maybe another class. More than likely I’ll be late getting back, so I’ll do some independent study through BYU to start my generals. I won’t have money for the vehicle I wanted to purchase, so I’m choosing school first, and I’ll everything will work out.
I hope I haven’t exhausted the reader! I know I won’t make nearly the kind of money I’d expected or talked about, and I just wanted to share how the experience has been priceless and I wouldn’t trade the memories or lessons or testimony building for any amount of money. I don’t plan to write nearly as much next edition, I just couldn’t cut this short! I love my family and I’m happy and grateful that I can share this experience with you! If you’re in the Bakersfield area before Augusts end, look me up! Happy summer everyone!

Seriously?!

Seriously! When you are an adult, and you have made prior arrangements to meet someone, or possibly... provide transportation... you should uphold the arrangement! In the event, that there is a hold up, or a change of plans, it is typically a GREAT idea to be honest, provide a reason (not the same as an excuse) and work to rearrange and make things possible. SERIOUSLY!

I am leaving for the summer. I am going to Bakersfield California to sell pest control. Half the time I tell people that, I get an "i know someone who did that... good luck" kind of look. Or "I know someone who did that... good luck" Kind of look. Lol. I guess it has kind of a bad reputation, but I'm not worried about it. My boss from Sub Zero, Royal, has done it before, and I am actually going down to sell with his best friend Shiloh. I am rooming with one, maybe two other girls. The apartment is furnished and paid for by the company. I'm pretty excited. At the very least, I will still make more than I would've with two jobs, 50+ hours. Sounds good to me. I am firstly looking to to buy a car. Jeep Liberty please, or Toyota Tacoma, That's the plan anyway.

So I was supposed to be leaving sunday. And then I should've left monday. Now it's tuesday, at 4:30 pm and hopefully I'll be leaving tonight. Wth any luck!

I'll try to keep up here and there on my blog. I don't know that anyone reads it, so I never feel to obligated to post. Kind of like my journal. I know everything I'm thinking, so I'm not worried about writing everything down to remember it. I do it more for the readers, that are hopefully out there. :D Have a great summer all!

Birthday!!!!

Yesterday was my 19th Birthday. I techinically think we shouldn't start counting birthdays after you finish living a year, but when you start living them. So instead of this being my 19th year on this mostly beautiful planet, in this amazing family, I would like to submit that it is my 20th!

Sunday to celebrate I had a big birthday dinner. Lots of family, and a few close friends. It was... I'll try this in age order, I might mess up a few. ;) Grandpa Holdaway, Grandma Holdaway, Mom, Dad, Royal Petersen (the best ice cream man in the world), Jenn Petersen (the most beautiful woman married to the best ice cream man in the world.), Mitch, Ben, Holly, Me(?) :D, Chris (He is always quick to remind me, we are less than 18 hours apart>), Landon (Chris's Girlfriend), Bryce (Only the most amazing guyfriend a girl could ever have), Savannah, Faith, Hope, Andelyn (ice cream man, and beautiful wife's darling daughter), and Titan (ice cream man and beautiful wife's handsome son). It was a full house and tons of fun, lots of food, and plenty of smiles.

Now about 3 maybe 4 weeks ago, I gave Amy Hart a call. She is the lovely lady Holly used to nanny for. And also the mother of my favoritest 3 (now it's 4) little boys in the world. I told her I new she'd have her new baby soon, and to give her a break, and me a "present", I'd like to borrow the older 3 for my birthday day! The plan was to take them to the zoo. I actually ended up changing plans a couple days ago, on acount of vehicular complications.
SO..... about 8:30 yesterday, I was up and off to pick them up. Amy had a meeting in Springville which was convenient for both of us. I met up with her, collected the boys, and we came to chill at my house. We played with lots of toys, especially the marble ones, until it was time to go... Where did we go?! CHUCK E CHEESE!!! I actually remember it being a lot cooler last time I was there... Considering that was exactly 13 years ago, it's understandable how my fresh 6 year old mind seemed to enhance things. Nonetheless it was so much fun. Faith and Hope and Mom also came, and I was happy to share this fun fun date with them! Kellen (the youngest, and coincidently my favorite) LOVED the rides. He just kept jumping from one to the next. So cute!!
We finished at the place 'where a kid can be a kid' and stopped to visit Holly at the Garden Center real quick. Then on for some Ice Cream. I took the boys to Sub Zero, and they loved it! Chaz and Kellen had bubble gum ice cream with marshmallows. And Kaden had lime with marshmallows. So fun!
We came home and I knew they'd be getting tired and maybe cranky, so I'd prefer to tucker them out more at the playground, so maybe they'd come home and relax for a movie. It was a success! We spent maybe an hour at the park. I played with Kellen, and Savannah played hide-n-seek with Kaden and Chaz. Whew, all play, and no work is exhausting.

Shrek was our first delightful viewing choice, and the boys sat well watched the movie. They were hungry again. I waited til near the end of the movie, and let them finish the bottom of 2 bags of chips. Ofcourse that wasn't enough for 3 little growing boys and myself, so we chose a new movie... mind you, the boys selected the second one all on their own. And I grabbed some veggies as we divulged our selves in the world of a car that goes... "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang":D

Right as I changed the movie and was getting the veggies, Kellen had been eating two chips. I put the veggies in a bowl, gave them to Kaden and Chaz, and looked up to see Kellen falling asleep kneeling on the couch with a chip in each hand. :) ahhh!

The best present ever....

I scooped the sweet tuckered boy up, and sat with him on my lap. He was out in seconds. I got to hold that lovely baby for just over an hour as he napped. Oh! I couldn't ask for anything more precious and special for my birthday!!!!

Their darling mother picked them up after a deliciously fun day, and was so grateful for the break. I was glad to help, but to be honest, it was mostly selfish reasons. I love these boys!

Mom treated us for the second time this month, with some heavenly corned beef and cabbage for dinner! Yum!!!! I love it!

Holly, Mitch, and I went to see the movie, The Bounty Hunter. It was hii-Larious! So much fun! Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are quite the comedic duo!

All in all it was a fantastic birthday! One of my all time favorites! Thank you to everyone for being a part of it!

And now, in the wake of a massive case of birthday hangover, I sign off to sleep. Good night, and good morrow!!!

Busy Busy Busy!

I don't have many followers, but to the few faithful readers, I apologize. I have not been faithful in my blog. :( But here I am. :D
I am diligently working towards buying a vehicle come end of April. In doing so, I currently am working about 56 hours a week between my two jobs. I work at Sub Zero, weekends, and my Grandpa's Garden Center weekdays. It is a lot. Mom is glad to see me working though. I no longer have anytime to waste, except the hours I should be sleeping. Unfortuantely I do use some of those hours and regret it every morning after. I'm doing good though. Lot's of money = bigger down payment on a car = less stress when taking out a loan for the rest of the car. I am excited to go choose a vehicle that I want this time. I am enlisting my Bro-in-laws help so that hopefully, I will not be putting a couple hundred dollars into the vehicle every couple months. Wish us luck. I'm reading my scriptures a lot more. I've found that when I take ten minutes here and there, it's like an energy bar. It also refills my patience resevoir, and then I am much kinder, and my customers fair better. I'm also squeezing in a little fun reading here and there. Little, BIG is my current choice. It's just a very comfortable read. Very different then what I'm used to. Folklorish if you will. But it's lovely. I'm dating a little. It's hard to squeeze into my weeknights, since my weekends are absorbed at -0. But at least I'm making an effort. I am sorting out a few issues with my homeward bishop, so currently I am not attending singles ward meetings. I do go to all the activities I can, I just do meetings with my family's ward. I like the time I get with them. I also got a calling this week in my family ward. I am partnered with Stacey Killpack, and we teach 4 year old primary. :D I'm super excited about this. Little ones are the best. And they really do say the darndest things. :D
Well, today is a day off. I still have to run to the garden center for a couple hours. And then I am going with Hope to see Alice in Wonderland 3-D. It's a belated Christmas present she says. :D I surely don't mind. It will be fun.
Have a wonderful week everyone, have a colorful spring, and God bless you all!

Spring Time!!!

I love spring! I love the rain! I love the Bulbs pushing up through cold ground! I love helping transplant in the greenhouse! I love Easter! I love General Conference! I love Easter Candy! I love Peeps! I love it all! My favorite... I love the colors of spring!

I'm working at Sub Zero, and my Grandpa's Garden Center. I'm so excited to have hours at the Nursery cause I get to watch all the signs of spring, coming on in nature. You can check out deals and updates etc... at www.vineyardgardencenter.com.

Signs of spring....

Life, Liberty and Property!

http://www.isil.org/resources/introduction.swf
Please watch this video! It is so important that we as a people understand what it means to have Self-Ownership. You own your life. No man, group, or government has the power to take your life. Nor do you have the power to take theirs. This video spells things out simply, but it's a lot to accept if you aren't ready!

The Result...

Between Christmas day, and New Years Day I worked all but one day at Sub Zero. Long hours, many much Ice Cream making, and lots of fun. But it was exhausting. I've also not been sleeping well. I share a room with my youngest sister, and the twin I sleep on is way to squishy. I sleep better when I sleep with my bestie Faith, on her bed, ( it's much firmer ) But I've been opting not to, because my baby Ellie. My beautiful deaf kitty, has to be on a leash attached to my bed post so she does not terrorize our posessions while we are all sleeping. Ellie also wakes up with the equivalent of kitty nightmares, whatever those are, and I like to be there to hush her, and pet her. Anywho, as an impending result, I was super much exhausted, and I had my first semi road accident ever. I was driving home late from work, Midnight 30ish, and I hallucinated my phone ringing. I say hallucinated, because it turns out the call never existed. I think I reached for my bag, or I blinked too long, but I drifted to the side of the road. Only going 30 mph or so, but I hit a wall of plowed snow with the right side of the truck. I bounced over the wall of snow, and ran myself thigh deep into snow. Ooops! Luckily my fantastic brother in law, Mitch, has traded in his beloved sports cars, and of late has been driving a Jeep. He easily pulled me out later the next day, and the truck is fine. It was an adventure, and surely something to laugh about now. But I'll be sure to solve my sleeping issues, before I work another week like that one! :D

My 2 favorite ladies!!!

I love my sister Faith more then.... Ice cream, rain, oranges, and even some other relatives that will remain unnamed. ;D I also love Haven, my cousins daughter. She lives with us, and we get to see her beautiful face everyday. Coincidentally Haven has decided she loves Faith the mostest, and is constantly begging for her attention. These are some precious photos I caught during shnuggly time! :D

December 17th 2009

It's said that friends will always move on, and it's just our family's that will always be there. I love my family. And I love my friends. But maybe it's time I come to terms with this. My best friend has blown me off 3 times in the last week. I know that things happen. I know things come up. But there is no reason not to call and not to let me know what's going on. I wrote a different friend and let her know that we can call things ended. It might sound bitter and resentful, but I think it's to protect me. I want to be forgiving, and let things go. But to keep doing it isn't worth it. I know that life will treat her well, and I want all the best for her. I love my family. Even when I don't act like it, I love my family. I love my friends, but I don't need them. I don't want to need them. I won't let myself need them.

December 7th 2009

I am sitting on a bus on my way to New York City. I am on my way to audition for the New York Film Academy. My acceptance is not based on this audition, rather my worth in financial aid scholarships, and class placement. I am performing 2 monologues. I'll see if I can't figure out how to add videos for you to watch. In a few minutes I will also write a letter for my grant application. My tuition for the 1 year program is $25,000. If I recieve the grant, it is worth $15,000 tuition. I will write well I think. It's an expensive letter. :D I have finished my time with the Sisto family. I am staying with my Uncle Jeff, Aunt Karen and family until I fly home to Utah in a few days. I'm excited to be home for the holidays. But I am anxious about going home. I feel like I have taken 3 giant steps into the path to my future, and going home is like pausing and taking a step back. I have been granted a position at my old job. Sub Zero Ice Cream. I love that place, with an amazing boss, ice cream, and making people smile everyday it's a blast. But I can't stay forever. Hopefully I don't have to stay long. My plan is to work there, find other work, save like crazy. Pay for my deposit at the Academy, save like crazy. Either find a cheap way to live in New York. i.e. Nanny, rent a room from a family, etc. Then move to New York and start working. Or find like 3 jobs in Utah, and save like crazy at home. I just worry about getting into the lull and comfort and ease of home. Anywho. That is the plan. Until I get home, and sit down with my mom( who is amazing at details whereas I am not!)then I won't know exactly where I'm headed. Keep your eye out, I'll keep you posted, and you'll be seeing me around!

Epitome

This photo is the epitome of my thoughts, and actions in regards to my future. I don't believe in karma, but I do believe in God. Is it silly to think this was a gift from him?

Famous!

I decided this week that I am going to be famous. I do not have any strong inclination towards music, or dancing. Oh heavens I cannot dance! I am not much for writing. Trust me I've tried. Being an avid reader, everything comes out a knock off of something I've read. But all my life, I've loved attention. It may sound conceded, and that's ok. Some people are shy, some people are not. I am ready to be recognized for something. I am ready for people to know my name. I want to be something great. Growing up, I always played make believe. I was always pretending to be someone else. Through school and life I did the same. People probably thought I was awkward, trying to figure out who I was. Then the other night, Bam! Epiphany! Maybe that is me. I enjoy being someone else. All the time, when I am out in public, shopping, church, wherever. I like to pretend. So, I've decided to go for it. It's not going to be easy, heck it's going to be really hard. But I'm going to figure out where to start, I'm going to believe I can do it, and I'm going to blow you all away. This would be a journal entry, but hey, noone but me ever reads my journal, and that's just not true to my nature. Haha. So now you're all in on my secret. When I walk down the Red Carpet, you can all (all few of you) say you read about that day here. And I promise, I won't forget you!

CANDLES!

Candles! Is there a better therapy without eating? My momma burned many candles, (most technically through a melt pad, or whatever they're called) Lilac in the spring, cucumber melon, cinnamon/fall/leaf variations etc. Mommy and I have shared a love of the harvest season, and the falling leaves and crisp chill air for a long time. My daddy however, was never much a fan of leaving an open flame in the house. (hence we used the melter things) As time would have it, I grew up. My parents, kind, loving, and doting as they may be.... kicked me out. Luckily I saw this event coming, made arrangments for my cats to remain, got a job, and moved across country. This as turned out to be more lonely an adventure then I forsaw. But someone knew it, and matched me up with the right family to Nanny for. They are not adverse to burning candles, and I have become accustomed with the habit. I have succesfully burned through 2 large mulled ciders, 1 small spiced pumpkin, 1 small harvest 'something. And 3 little match books. Last night I went to Bath & Body works, I smelled every candle availabe. Twice. And without looking back, I purchased to cozy cinnamon smells. 'Cinnamon and Cloves.' And 'Cinnamon Sticks.' Whenever I miss my beautiful mother I light the cinnamon and it's such a comfort! I miss you momma but I'm grateful for your years of candles, and that I can now find comfort in them! I love you all! P.S. My house smells kind of good! ;D

0ctober 6, 2009

Out of respect for the few people in my life that care to spend the time to read my short blogs, I will give you an honest update. My job is good. It is easy, and they are good people. I have lots of time to explore locally, and intelectually. Wether I'm actually doing those things... yeah. I get to spend weekends with my mother's brother's family in Vienna. About 40 minutes north of Woodbridge. I absolutely love the time I get to spend with them. I relish in it. It is a release I look forward to every week. I'm learning so much from my lovely Aunt Karen. Cameron is my 16 year old cousin, but you'd never know it. He is mature, and kind. And pretty much kicks my butt at everything from any athletic endeavor, to everything intelectually. Matthew is 12 and totally cool. I'm ever jealous of his ambedextrisism(?) He is an artistic genius, and a good friend. I tease him pretty hard, but I do love him. My uncle Jeff, is "reserved" (probably not the best word) But he is calm and kind, wise and a steady influence. I'm so blessed to be close to them all. I will be spending the holidays with them this winter. With any luck, they won't be sick of me too soon. I'm running lots. I notice it getting easier. But I miss the sore muscles. When they are sore, I know I worked them. And as long as I'm being honest, I kind of just like the pain. In a masochistic, not weird sort of way of course. That's pretty much all. It's an adventure to be sure.

I've been bitten!!!

The Holdaway's are well known in the last decade for their interest in running. And of course we don't do the expected, and we don't start small. We pick a lofty goal, and we work hard, and to everyones shock... Voila!!!! We survive, and we conquer!!! I am saying we, all though that maybe an unfair point of reference. I just started so I'm not exactly one of the 'we'. However I ran everyday this week. And twice on wednesday. My legs are sore. My calves are killer. And I love it. Maybe in a sick twisted way there is something behind having an 'ethos' or whatever. Haha. I would love to be ambitious and shoot for the 50 mile rocky raccon race, in texas, in february. Unfortunately it is a huge commitment. If I commit to running the race, I need some crew, pacers or whatnot. I don't know all the details. So if anything, I will just aim to pace one of my fellow esteemed family runners, and start there. All this presuming, I last. But being in pain after a whole week of it, and still wanting to go... it's a pretty good sign I think. Oh and the best part... Last weekend I was at my Uncle Jeff, and Aunt Karen's house. We were having a intense, moist, delectable, death-by-chocolate cake. I mentioned feeling guilty for eating it. And my uncle so simply put it, "thats the best part of running, you don't have to feel guilty again." Lol I took his word for it. I've pushed hard all week, and every bite of food I've eaten this week, I've been guilty free. Truly... I can get used to this. :D

BAGGINS!!!!

Name to be released soon.

This is my new friend. He is a betta. I think he is awesome. He is red. He swims a lot. He lives in my room. He doesn't have a name. I will give him a name. But not yet. Stay tuned to fro this vital piece of info!!! :D