Epitome

This photo is the epitome of my thoughts, and actions in regards to my future. I don't believe in karma, but I do believe in God. Is it silly to think this was a gift from him?

Famous!

I decided this week that I am going to be famous. I do not have any strong inclination towards music, or dancing. Oh heavens I cannot dance! I am not much for writing. Trust me I've tried. Being an avid reader, everything comes out a knock off of something I've read. But all my life, I've loved attention. It may sound conceded, and that's ok. Some people are shy, some people are not. I am ready to be recognized for something. I am ready for people to know my name. I want to be something great. Growing up, I always played make believe. I was always pretending to be someone else. Through school and life I did the same. People probably thought I was awkward, trying to figure out who I was. Then the other night, Bam! Epiphany! Maybe that is me. I enjoy being someone else. All the time, when I am out in public, shopping, church, wherever. I like to pretend. So, I've decided to go for it. It's not going to be easy, heck it's going to be really hard. But I'm going to figure out where to start, I'm going to believe I can do it, and I'm going to blow you all away. This would be a journal entry, but hey, noone but me ever reads my journal, and that's just not true to my nature. Haha. So now you're all in on my secret. When I walk down the Red Carpet, you can all (all few of you) say you read about that day here. And I promise, I won't forget you!

CANDLES!

Candles! Is there a better therapy without eating? My momma burned many candles, (most technically through a melt pad, or whatever they're called) Lilac in the spring, cucumber melon, cinnamon/fall/leaf variations etc. Mommy and I have shared a love of the harvest season, and the falling leaves and crisp chill air for a long time. My daddy however, was never much a fan of leaving an open flame in the house. (hence we used the melter things) As time would have it, I grew up. My parents, kind, loving, and doting as they may be.... kicked me out. Luckily I saw this event coming, made arrangments for my cats to remain, got a job, and moved across country. This as turned out to be more lonely an adventure then I forsaw. But someone knew it, and matched me up with the right family to Nanny for. They are not adverse to burning candles, and I have become accustomed with the habit. I have succesfully burned through 2 large mulled ciders, 1 small spiced pumpkin, 1 small harvest 'something. And 3 little match books. Last night I went to Bath & Body works, I smelled every candle availabe. Twice. And without looking back, I purchased to cozy cinnamon smells. 'Cinnamon and Cloves.' And 'Cinnamon Sticks.' Whenever I miss my beautiful mother I light the cinnamon and it's such a comfort! I miss you momma but I'm grateful for your years of candles, and that I can now find comfort in them! I love you all! P.S. My house smells kind of good! ;D

0ctober 6, 2009

Out of respect for the few people in my life that care to spend the time to read my short blogs, I will give you an honest update. My job is good. It is easy, and they are good people. I have lots of time to explore locally, and intelectually. Wether I'm actually doing those things... yeah. I get to spend weekends with my mother's brother's family in Vienna. About 40 minutes north of Woodbridge. I absolutely love the time I get to spend with them. I relish in it. It is a release I look forward to every week. I'm learning so much from my lovely Aunt Karen. Cameron is my 16 year old cousin, but you'd never know it. He is mature, and kind. And pretty much kicks my butt at everything from any athletic endeavor, to everything intelectually. Matthew is 12 and totally cool. I'm ever jealous of his ambedextrisism(?) He is an artistic genius, and a good friend. I tease him pretty hard, but I do love him. My uncle Jeff, is "reserved" (probably not the best word) But he is calm and kind, wise and a steady influence. I'm so blessed to be close to them all. I will be spending the holidays with them this winter. With any luck, they won't be sick of me too soon. I'm running lots. I notice it getting easier. But I miss the sore muscles. When they are sore, I know I worked them. And as long as I'm being honest, I kind of just like the pain. In a masochistic, not weird sort of way of course. That's pretty much all. It's an adventure to be sure.

I've been bitten!!!

The Holdaway's are well known in the last decade for their interest in running. And of course we don't do the expected, and we don't start small. We pick a lofty goal, and we work hard, and to everyones shock... Voila!!!! We survive, and we conquer!!! I am saying we, all though that maybe an unfair point of reference. I just started so I'm not exactly one of the 'we'. However I ran everyday this week. And twice on wednesday. My legs are sore. My calves are killer. And I love it. Maybe in a sick twisted way there is something behind having an 'ethos' or whatever. Haha. I would love to be ambitious and shoot for the 50 mile rocky raccon race, in texas, in february. Unfortunately it is a huge commitment. If I commit to running the race, I need some crew, pacers or whatnot. I don't know all the details. So if anything, I will just aim to pace one of my fellow esteemed family runners, and start there. All this presuming, I last. But being in pain after a whole week of it, and still wanting to go... it's a pretty good sign I think. Oh and the best part... Last weekend I was at my Uncle Jeff, and Aunt Karen's house. We were having a intense, moist, delectable, death-by-chocolate cake. I mentioned feeling guilty for eating it. And my uncle so simply put it, "thats the best part of running, you don't have to feel guilty again." Lol I took his word for it. I've pushed hard all week, and every bite of food I've eaten this week, I've been guilty free. Truly... I can get used to this. :D

BAGGINS!!!!

Name to be released soon.

This is my new friend. He is a betta. I think he is awesome. He is red. He swims a lot. He lives in my room. He doesn't have a name. I will give him a name. But not yet. Stay tuned to fro this vital piece of info!!! :D